Monday, May 07, 2007

Writer/Director: "Vagina Dentata"

With Michael Criscuolo helming and moderating an ongoing dialogue about the role of the director, I figured I'd give you folks a quick, inside look at "Vagina Dentata," the vignette that I wrote and Pete directed for last year's The Blood Brothers Present Grand Guignol series. Below is the pantomime script I sent in to Pete. Underneath my script is the video of the performance (which I have posted before).

I'm specifically pointing this one out for perusal for two reasons. The first is (obviously) it's short and we have a decent video of it, so you can actually see what Pete and the cast did. The second is this is the only show I've written for Nosedive Productions where I had no involvement whatsoever with the casting or rehearsal processes. I wrote it, handed it in to Pete, then saw the show for the first time on opening night.

I hope you have fun seeing what I brought to the table, what Pete brought, how and where the script and the production differ and how and where they converge.

(It features Cat Johnson and Desmond Dutcher and was filmed by Ben VandenBoom.)

Getting Up Close And Personal,

James "Inside Baseball" Comtois

* * *

"Vagina Dentata"

A woman's studio apartment. A MAN and WOMAN enter. If the Man is wearing a tie, it's now untied and open. The Woman shows the place off, indicating, "This is the place." The Man looks impressed.

The Woman walks over to the dresser and removes her jewelry. The Man approaches her, and tries to kiss her. She dodges him, walking to the other end of the room. He smiles, far from annoyed. He had a hunch she'd be playing hard to get, but since she's invited him to the apartment, the jig is damn near up, so he's patient.

She indicates toward the bar. The Man nods. She makes them both drinks. She hands him his, he takes it. They chime their glasses together. They sit on the sofa-bed.

On the sofa-bed, they make eyes at one another, the Woman laughs self-consciously. The Man tries again to go for The Kiss. She dodges, and goes over to the stereo. She indicates to the music. The Man nods. She puts in a CD, and the music changes (if there was music playing before, which I'm assuming there would be, now's the time when it changes). She looks happy and polite, yet agitated.

The Man looks somewhat confused, yet sees no reason to be impatient or agitated. Yet. He stands up towards her, and she immediately hugs him tightly (so he can't kiss her). He hugs her back, smelling her hair.

She pulls away and runs over to the other side of the room, pantomiming talking about something. True, she brought him up to her apartment, but does everything have to go so quickly? Whatever happened to just talking?

The Man pantomimes being interested in hearing what she has to say. He walks slowly toward her, nursing the drink she made for him. He finally approaches her, and kisses her on the cheek. She smiles, but continues talking. As she talks, he kisses her face. She lets him, but her expression shows that she's trying to ignore it. As he kisses her face, he finally goes for the lips. She dodges and let him kiss her cheek. She tries to move away.

He grabs her by the arm, perhaps a bit too roughly, and pulls her close to him. His face hardens a bit, as if to say, "Let's stop fooling around, lady. Why am I up here?" This shouldn't be mean, but now his patience is wearing a bit thin. The Woman looks...not scared, but...a bit startled. They lock eyes. He strokes her hair, his face softens. She smiles. They kiss.

She puts her drink down, he puts down his. They kiss again.

Their kissing becomes more passionate. They paw at each other and after a while move over to the sofa-bed. They first sit on it, kissing and pawing, then lie down on it, him on top of her, as they continue to kiss and grope one another. She puts a sheet over the two of them. They continue to kiss, then the Woman dunks the Man's head down under the covers and in between her legs. He goes down on her (we're guessing, since we can't explicitly see him). The Woman throws her head back, closes her eyes and pantomimes moaning.

Then, a small spot of blood appears on the sheet where his head is. That small spot grows slowly but steadily. The Man's body, which has been moving rhythmically, is now jerking more spastically. The sheets soak up blood.

A lot of blood.

The Man's body thrashes under the covers, as if he's having a seizure. Blood pours through the sheets and onto the floor.

Throughout all of this, the Woman still pantomimes moaning.

After the Man's body seizes, it stops and goes limp. The Woman opens her eyes and catches her breath. She sits up and lifts the covers.

In between her legs, is the bloody stump of the Man's neck, where his head should be. He's been decapitated.

The Woman doesn't look too concerned. She had a hunch this would happen.


© 2006 James Comtois

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmm, I wonder if there is any centaur kibble in there?

Clop, clop . . . clop, clop

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, I love that you posted this - awesome! Now the world knows what naughty, naughty boys you and Pete are.

8:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


from "Incubus":

A woman, in a series of fast blackout scenes, listens on her bed to calls from her gentleman caller, who has courted her by phone, for a few weeks. Each scene cuts off before she begins to masturbate.

They finally meet at night, over coffee; he drinks or eats nothing, in a deserted coffee shop. She takes him home, he gently kisses and seduces her into bed. He holds the sheet open for him to see her take off her stockings, clothes and underthings, and unzips his fly. She reaches inside her nightstand for condoms, which he takes out of her hands and throws on the floor.

As they begin having sex, him on top, he holds the covers off of their bodies, pounding her into the bed. As he gets close to orgasm, he slows down, bends back, still connected to her, as if they're pulling taffy, down there. We hear the only speech in the play, a creaking moan, which we don't know from whom it comes.

Once he orgasms, he throws himself over her, kissing her for the last time. When he zips up his pants, gets out of bed, and leaves, we see a dried, brittle corpse which was her body; he burps, and shuts the door.

[(c)2007 cgeye]

2:19 AM  
Blogger Jamespeak said...

It took me a little while to find out what you were doing, anonymous poster (you bill yourself as cgeye but I have a sneaking suspicion that you're my mother trolling through the blogs. Seriously, ma! No one minds that you participate in these discussions!), but then found out there's a 1965 movie starring William Shatner called Incubus. (As big of a horror film fan as I am, I'm sad to say I had never even heard of this movie.) Is that what you're referencing here?

Don't take this the wrong way, anonymous poster, but what was the point of your comment here?

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry for the anonymous bit, but ever since Blogger upgraded my login no longer works.

Also sorry for not explaining -- after the discussion over horror, I didn't want to get on a soapbox again and say, oh, I'm not against all horror. In fact, I'm trying to find how to write horror when it actually works, and doesn't feel, at least to me, exploitative.

So, what I wrote was a riff on what you wrote, like a kazoo blast to a classical record. Please remove it, if it doesn't fit.

(besides, with the Incubus movie thing, it would have to have been translated with babelfish from Esperanto, and it was late at night....)

12:03 AM  
Blogger Jamespeak said...

Okay, gotcha. I was trying to figure out where it was coming from: i.e., is this person a.) accusing me of plagiarizing a work I've not heard of, b.) implying that I'm a hack, or c.) simply making fun of me? Since I wasn't sure you were doing one of these, a little of all three or neither, I didn't know how to proceed.

So thanks for clearing it up. No harm done.

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is plagiarism..
the movie teeth is reminiscent of this exact scene.
double check next time, cheech.

4:09 AM  
Blogger Jamespeak said...


This was written and performed in 2006. The movie Teeth, which I have not seen, was released in 2007. You're a moron.

9:49 AM  

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