Displaying Not Just My Physical State But Why I Will Most Likely Never Get A Date This Millennium...

"Relationships"

By James Comtois

( A WOMAN sits on a couch watching TV. She's surrounded by discarded tissues. A MAN enters.)

WOMAN. How was your day?

MAN. I'm tired.

WOMAN. Do you want dinner?

MAN. Did you eat?

(He sits down next to her.)

WOMAN. No. Did you eat?

MAN. No.

WOMAN. Do you want dinner?

MAN. Do you want dinner?

WOMAN. I'm feeling sick.

MAN. I'm tired.

(Woman blows her nose into a tissue.)

MAN. You sound sick.

WOMAN. I'm feeling sick.

MAN. I'm tired.

WOMAN. Do you want dinner?

MAN. I'm so tired.

WOMAN. I'm so sick.

(Woman blows her nose again. Eats the tissue.)

WOMAN. Do you want dinner?

MAN. What's on TV?

WOMAN. You want to lie down?

MAN. I'm so tired.

(Woman blows her nose again. Man eats the tissue.)

WOMAN. You feeling sick?

MAN. I'm feeling tired.

(Takes a tissue, blows his nose, eats the tissue.)

WOMAN. You should lie down.

MAN. I'm hungry.

WOMAN. Do you want dinner?

MAN. Do you want dinner?

(Woman blows her nose. Man eats the tissue.)

WOMAN. You want to watch something else?

(Man blows his nose. Woman eats the tissue.)

MAN. What are you watching?

(Woman blows her nose, eats the tissue.)

WOMAN. You should lie down. You look tired.

MAN. You sound sick.

WOMAN. You wanna lie down?

MAN. I'm tired.

(The man and woman blow their noses repeatedly, eating the tissues, sometimes eating their own, sometimes eating the other person's.)

BLACKOUT

© 2006 James Comtois