“Teen Beat”

The following is yet-another scene in my As-Yet-Untitled-And-Unfinished-Superhero-Play (I've taken off the "Based-Very-Loosely-Off-Watchmen" aspect of the title because it's looking more and more like it's becoming its own beast). I have no idea if this will make the "final cut" (as it were), but at any rate, it may be a fun read.

Nosedive is amidst auditions for Suburban Peepshow this weekend, so I'll let you know how that goes in the ensuing days and weeks.

Have a good weekend, folks.

Dressing up in cat-suits,

James "Rawr" Comtois

* * *

FROM "GRRRRRL POWER, AN INTERVIEW WITH TIGRESS" IN TEEN BEAT, MARCH 7, 1994

The following exchange is a pre-recorded voiceover. Throughout, Karen, in her Tigress outfit, makes cutesy freeze-frame poses, sometimes looking coy, sometimes holding her tail as a whip and sometimes (say) kicking a faux ninja model in the neck. Be creative. They should look like stills from a photo-shoot for a teen fashion magazine.

INTERVIEWER: What got you into costumed crimefighting?

KAREN: Well, I've always wanted to help people, and I've taken tae-kwon-do since I was eight years old. Plus, I've always been fairly theatrical. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember, so I guess if you add all those things up, becoming Tigress seemed to make sense.

INT: Do you hope to serve as a role model for younger girls?

KAREN: Oh, definitely! The costumed crimefighting scene and the Alliance of Champions is almost completely male-dominated, which I think can be a bit disheartening for girls these days. I do hope that I can show them that they can do anything they put their mind to. Like those Bowzer ads. (Laughs.)

INT: What's the most fun part about fighting crime as Tigress?

KAREN: Well, I think it's about doing my bit to make the world a better place, and also inspiring others to try in their own way to improve the world around them.

INT: Are you okay with people calling you a superhero?

KAREN: It's okay, although I think we all agree that Overman is the one and only true superhero.

INT: Have you met him?

KAREN: Oh, yes. It was a thrill! He's very serious, but very polite. Very handsome.

INT: Do people ask you for your autograph?

KAREN: Oh, yes. All the time.

INT: How do you feel about that?

KAREN: It makes me feel good because then I know that people are being touched by my work.

INT: What's the hardest thing about being a costumed crimefighter?

KAREN: It does take its toll on my social life. I kind of wish I had more free time. But that's really a small price to pay.

INT: What was the scariest case you had ever been on?

KAREN: Well, there have been many scary times. You are, after all, confronting criminals on a nightly basis. This one time, though, I remember patrolling my usual route in New York when I ran into this guy dressed like the Grim Reaper who announced that he was Azrail and was came here to kill me and the other members of the Alliance. It was the first time I had ever confronted an actual costumed criminal, so I was really thrown. We fought, and fortunately he didn't know any martial arts, so I had the advantage, but at one point he yanked on my mask so I couldn't see for a few seconds. It was weird, I didn't know which scared me more, getting stabbed or having him see my face!

INT: What happened?

KAREN: I was able to align the eyeholes to my eyes and I knocked him out. The idiot wasn't even armed!

INT: That's a relief. So, did you read a lot of "Wonder Woman" comics when you were a kid?

KAREN: Oh, you bet! I always wanted that lasso and invisible plane of hers.

INT: What sort of music do you listen to?

KAREN: Oh, I like the Counting Crows, Better Than Ezra, Toad the Wet Sprocket, a lot of alternative, I guess. I just got the new album by Beck, which I can't get enough of. I like all kinds.

INT: If you weren't crimefighting, what would you be doing?

KAREN: I guess I would try to be doing good in some way. Maybe get involved in the Peace Corps or Amnesty International. Something like that.

INT: Last question. Is there any romance for Tigress?

KAREN: No comment.

BLACKOUT

© 2007 James Comtois