Rob Zombie's Halloween

Oddly enough, I didn't hate Rob Zombie's Halloween. In fact, I'll go so far as to say I actually liked it (albeit with some reservations). It's definitely Zombie's best feature film to-date, although I admit that's not saying much.

I approached Zombie's first two movies, House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, with an intense desire to like and champion them. But unfortunately, I couldn't (and can't). With Corpses and Rejects, Zombie knows how to make a good-looking horror film, but doesn't know the first thing about tension or suspense (crucial ingredients to any horror film worth its weight in intestines). Not only did I not think for a second that the kids in Corpses were going to survive, I didn't care if they did, so I spent the bulk of that film checking my watch and the run-time on the DVD case, thinking, "Okay, got 40 minutes left before this crew of murderers kills these brats."

And I know, I know, we're somehow supposed to be worried for the family of killers in Rejects when William Forsythe's rogue cop crosses the line and begins to torture them to death, but I wasn't sold for a minute. I just thought, "Hell. If there's any group of fictitious characters I feel no sympathy for whatsoever, it's this group of mean-spirited assholes."

So, I approached his remake of Halloween, a movie of which I didn't believe required a remake, with some trepidation. On one hand, not only is Zombie 0.1 for 2.1 with me (I liked his "Werewolf Women of the SS" trailer for Grindhouse, hence the .1), he's remaking a touchstone of horror films.

On the other, perhaps if he worked on someone else's already established material, he could bypass the problem found in his previous films (the inability to write a genuinely tense and suspenseful story).

Now, does he bypass the aforementioned problem? Well...yes and no.

Also, does it even compare to the 1978 original? Of course not. Not even close. But I knew that going in.

Zombie's Halloween is really two movies (the way Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket is ostensibly two separate and distinct movies): the first half is a case study (or rather, Case Study) of a psychopath. We watch Michael Myers's (played as a kid by Daeg Faerch) sad and abusive childhood, his being bullied at school, and his predilection for killing and cutting up little furry animals (then later members of his own family). We then see him institutionalized and interviewed by Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcom McDowell), where his psychiatrist first has hope, then slowly gives up on young Myers.

The second half is pretty much a faithful remake of John Carpenter's original film (which even reprises chunks of dialogue verbatim): three young high school girls getting ready to either baby-sit or get laid on Halloween night, only to be hunted down by Myers 17 or so years later (now played by Tyler Mane), who's now a mute hulking giant in a distorted William Shatner mask.

The case study portion is actually quite captivating and powerful, easily the best section of the movie and an admirable take for something that's ultimately a slasher film. Faerch is perfectly cast as the young serial killer, with his pudgy face hidden behind long blonde hair looking both innocent and teeming with rage.

Before young Michael brutally murders his mother's horrific boyfriend (Forsythe), older sister Judith (Hanna R. Hall), and her boyfriend in an extraordinary expansion of the opening scene from the original, he has a penchant for wearing masks, much to the dismay of his family. When at the institution, he spends most of his time in his cell making new masks (he finds himself ugly, and wants to hide his face all the time). I was impressed at the shot of his cell that, after being incarcerated for 17 years, is filled wall-to-wall with an array of paper mache masks.

The scenes where Dr. Loomis tries to reach young Michael Myers show surprising depth and realism. Dr. Loomis asks a pretty cheery and polite little kid what he remembers about murdering the bulk of his family. Michael offers him a shy and somewhat precocious shrug, and then asks when he can see his family. The psychiatrist then asks Michael to explain how, if he has no memory of killing most of his family. Again, the kid just mumbles an evasive, "Dunno."

As is the case with Corpses and Rejects, the movie looks great. Phil Parmet's camerawork is utterly captivating. Zombie always knows how to make his movies look good (he's such an obvious fanboy of '70s style exploitation flicks he always takes such time and care into making his movies look like they come from that that era and school of guerrilla filmmaking). The use of ultra-saturated color and ultra-dark shadow offers the viewer some genuine eye candy (if you're into really repulsive blood-soaked grindhouse films like me).

The problem with Haloween, however, is that it wants to have his cake and eat it, too (which is honestly the same problem all of Zombie's movies have thus far). The audience is expected to sympathize and identify with Myers and to be utterly repelled, horrified and disgusted by him. The case study portion and unstoppable monster section don't fit together because the former makes Myers a somewhat three-dimensional (albeit disturbing and unpleasant) character while the latter makes him merely a personality-free catalyst for plot events.

The second half of the film is a surprisingly faithful remake of the original, although what made Carpenter's film so brilliant was its simplicity: he, along with producer and co-writer Debra Hill, took all the clichés of the Unstoppable Monster film and Haunted House movie and stripped them to their bare essentials (Nick Castle, who played the adult Myers in the original, was simply credited as "The Shape"). Because we spend the first hour following Myers's upbringing and institutionalization in Zombie's remake, we're not left in the dark the way Laurie is as to who-or what-this thing chasing her is (which makes Jamie Lee Curtis's portrayal of terror in the '78 version much more relatable than Scout Taylor-Compton's in the '07 version).

As of this writing, Zombie's remake of Halloween has a 21% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I think is highly unfair. No, it's not the original. So what? It had no hope and no intention of being so (Zombie clearly knows better). Although I have some problems with it, I think it does highlight some of the best attributes of the original and offers a chance for Zombie to show off his gifts for filmmaking.

Wondering why Austin Powers is killing these people,

James "Nope, I Don't Find That Joke Old" Comtois