Episode Two

PINKIE

Episode II: Former Clients, Former Colleagues

By James Comtois

BLOSSOM: (Either off-stage or directly to the audience.) The Pinkerton National Detective Agency was a nationwide private detective agency established by Allan Pinkerton in 1850. The agency's logo, an eye embellished with the words "We Never Sleep," inspired the term "private eye." During its height, the Pinkerton Detective Agency employed more agents than the U.S. standing army. By the 1890s, some believed the organization was a necessary force in maintaining peace and order while remaining under the radar. Some believed Pinkertons, or "Pinkies," were corrupt mercenaries hired by Robber Barons to infiltrate labor unions and intimidate strikers...

If BLOSSOM is on-stage, she now exits.

The following is an audio montage of lines from last month's episode.

VOICE: (Off, prerecorded.) Previously, on Pinkie...

STUBBY: (Ibid.) I was told that this store was bought to be a detective agent's office...

DUSTY: It is. How can I help you?

STUBBY: My name's Stubby Gilbert. I run the Arcade Saloon.

DUSTY: I'm Dusty Denton.

STUBBY: Lately, I've been dealing with some threatening behavior. I've woken up to the sound of people on horseback circling around my home and screaming nasty insults. Also, the windows of the Arcade have been broken by rocks. I have reason to believe this is the work of Jason Norris. He had expressed interest in purchasing the Arcade. When I told him it wasn't for sale, he stopped being polite.

DUSTY: Do you have Mr. Norris's address?

STUBBY: Yes. If you're going over there, make sure you have at least two guns. His boys are always-

DUSTY: -I don't even have one gun, Stubby. I refuse to carry one.

CHARLIE: I was told that Dusty Denton had opened up a detective agency in this town and I could find him at this address. I'm Charlie. Charlie Burnside.

DUSTY: What are you doing here, Charlie?

CHARLIE: Oh, hey now. Is that any way to treat your old partner?

DUSTY: We have no business together, Charlie. Not anymore.

CHARLIE: No, but you see, Dusty. We do. I've heard that Stubby is thinking of hiring you to help him with his predicament. You're no longer a Pinkerton Agent. You have no right snooping around the Big Boys' turf. Stubby is our client.

EILEEN: That's just awful. Our first client and we have to turn him down.

DUSTY: We won't be turning him down, Eileen. I'll be paying Mr. Norris a visit.

End of audio recap.
Darkness.

DUSTY: (In darkness.) Mr. Norris? Mr. Norris? The door was open. Are you here? Where's the...ah... (Finds a lantern and lights it. The newly lit room in Mr. Norris's house reveals a DEAD BODY on the floor.) Have to say, you have an enormous...(Sees body.)...house...(Approaches body cautiously.) Mr. Norris, I presume? (Check's the BODY'S pockets. Finds wallet. Takes out identification, unfolds it and reads.) Well, there goes my one and only suspect. And lead.

BLOSSOM enters.

BLOSSOM: (As she enters.) You do like to make a lady hunt, don't you, Mr. Norr- (Sees DUSTY and BODY. Looks horrified. Screams.) Oh my God oh my God what have you done? Who are you what are you doing here? Murder! Murder!

DUSTY: Settle down miss. Settle down. I'm unarmed.

BLOSSOM: What are you doing here?

DUSTY: Same thing you're doing: discovering Norris's body and trying to keep my wits together.

BLOSSOM: You're not armed?

DUSTY: No, miss. Are you?

BLOSSOM: Of course not!

DUSTY: Miss, the body's cold. He's been dead for a while now. If I did this, I wouldn't be waiting around for someone like you to come along.

BLOSSOM: (Catching her breath and regaining her wits.) You a friend?

DUSTY: No. But neither are you, or you would have referred to Mr. Norris by his Christian name.

BLOSSOM: Who are you?

DUSTY: My name's William. And I'm just as shocked as you are to find Mr. Norris like this.

BLOSSOM: You with the Sheriff?

DUSTY: No.

BLOSSOM: You a Pinkie?

DUSTY: I assure you, no.

BLOSSOM: Then what are you doing here?

DUSTY: I might ask you the same thing, since neither of us live here and both of us entered uninvited.

BLOSSOM: I was invited, sir. Mr. Norris was expecting me.

DUSTY: Then you got one up on me.

BLOSSOM: You are snooping, though. You've got that Pinkerton stink all over you.

DUSTY: It's hard to wash off.

BLOSSOM: Stubby asked you here, didn't he? (DUSTY says nothing.) I thought so. I knew he'd take his grudge with Mr. Norris so far he'd hire a Pinkie to intimidate him. (Pause.) I'm right, aren't I?

DUSTY: You tell me. Like I said, you know Mr. Norris, but aren't on a first-name basis. Plus, you've gone from screaming banshee to smooth spitfire in under 60 seconds. Now look, lady. You're at the scene of a murder crying crocodile tears. I think it's in your best interest to start explaining yourself.

BLOSSOM: Fine. Mr. Norris is-was-a client of mine.

DUSTY: Client.

BLOSSOM: Do I have to spell it out for you?

DUSTY: My former colleagues used to complain I was a little slow.

BLOSSOM: (Sighs.) I'm a-

DUSTY: -It's fine. You're a prostitute, I know. I had a hunch when you walked in.

BLOSSOM: (!!!)

DUSTY: I'm not judging you. Girl's got to make a living. And let me guess. You work for Stubby at the Arcade and I'm guessing not as a barmaid. (She opens her mouth to speak.) Since you know there's no love lost atwixt the two gentlemen, I'm guessing this job is on the side and under the radar, unbeknownst to Stubby. This is why I'm guessing you have no intention of contacting the Sheriff. It's fine. I was planning on doing that.

BLOSSOM: For a private investigator, you talk an awful lot.

DUSTY: My former colleagues used to complain I was a little uncouth.

BLOSSOM: You don't know everything.

DUSTY: I actually know a lot less.

BLOSSOM: What exactly are you looking for, William?

DUSTY: For starters, your name.

BLOSSOM: Oh. Blossom.

DUSTY: Well, Blossom. So far I've got everything right, haven't I?

BLOSSOM: Fine. It's true: I work for Stubby Gilbert along with three other women at the Arcade. It's no secret. Nor is it a secret that Mr. Norris paid handsomely for entertainment. That he was discrete and not abusive and wanted our secret to be a secret as much as I did made the offer too good to refuse.

DUSTY: He hire any other women from the Arcade?
BLOSSUM. Not on your life. I think I was the only one he trusted.

DUSTY: Don't sell yourself short, Blossom. I'm sure he found more than just your loyalty appealing.

BLOSSOM: Careful, Pinkie. Are you looking for answers or a date? I sincerely doubt you can afford what I was charging Mr. Norris.

DUSTY: I told you, Blossom, I'm not a Pinkie. And if I'm looking for a date, I promise I'll go through Stubby first.

BLOSSOM: Something tells me I shouldn't hold my breath waiting for that appointment.

DUSTY: You wouldn't want to end up like Mr. Norris.

BLOSSOM: You do know how to sweet-talk a lady.

DUSTY: My former colleagues used to complain I was a little artless.

BLOSSOM: I'll concur.

DUSTY: Who do you think killed Mr. Norris?

BLOSSOM: I haven't the slightest. Why would Stubby hire you if-

DUSTY: -Who ever said Stubby hired me?

BLOSSOM: He did, didn't he?

DUSTY: Why would he hire me?

BLOSSOM: Not the most subtle sleuthhound, are you?

DUSTY: Another complaint my former colleagues had.

BLOSSOM: How did you deal with all that griping?

DUSTY: I quit.

BLOSSOM: I suppose that's one way to deal with that.

DUSTY: It beats all the work involved in self-improvement.

BLOSSOM: I'd be willing to bet Stubby hired you to either intimidate Mr. Norris or find blackmail material to make Mr. Norris turn over his antique arquebus.

DUSTY: (Poker face.) Mmn.

BLOSSOM: Well, let me tell you, William, I do think Stubby is a decent man and a decent employer but what he's doing hiring you stinks. He has no right to Mr. Norris's arquebus and no business trying to take it from him.

DUSTY: Why didn't Stubby ask for this...I'm to assume priceless...? (BLOSSOM nods.) ...heirloom as payment for the Arcade?

BLOSSOM: He did. Mr. Norris was vaguely interested in buying the Arcade, not intent upon it. When Stubby insisted that his antique gun was the only payment he'd accept, Mr. Norris rescinded the offer. The Arcade's prospering, but it's not that valuable.

DUSTY: And this gun is?

BLOSSOM: Stubby figures it's worth enough to retire early on.

DUSTY: Who's telling you all this?

BLOSSOM: Both Stubby and Mr. Norris. They both refuse to stop complaining to me about the other.

DUSTY: And Stubby's willing to blackmail and extort for this arquebus?

BLOSSOM: Well, Stubby believes he's the rightful owner. That gun, according to him, was stolen from his great-great-grandfather.

DUSTY: Have you seen it?

BLOSSOM: The gun? Oh, yes. Mr. Norris had it hanging above his mantelpiece until Stubby started asking about it.

DUSTY: Where is it now?

BLOSSOM: No idea. Mr. Norris hid it. May not even be in the house.

DUSTY: Well, the place doesn't appear to have been robbed, so if whoever did this was after the gun, they knew where to look and didn't disrupt anything. Except, of course, for Mr. Norris's well being.

BLOSSOM: Stubby wants the arquebus, but I don't think he'd kill for it.

DUSTY: Stubby says it's his great-great-grandfather's. I'm assuming Mr. Norris was saying something similar.

BLOSSOM: Both claim their great-great-grandfather used it to win a duel.

DUSTY: I'm also assuming there's no engraving on it to make this all easier if we find it...

BLOSSOM: None that I saw when it was on display.

DUSTY: Of course not. That would make life easy.

BLOSSOM: And we both know that's never the case.

DUSTY: I take it you're not buying Stubby's side of the story.

BLOSSOM: I have my doubts. Mr. Norris has been a shrewd businessman, but he's no thief. And if an ancestor did steal it, it's a bit too late to be claiming ownership.

DUSTY: Tell that to the Indians.

BLOSSOM: Mmn.

DUSTY: At the risk of sounding rude, for a girl of the line, you do sound a lot like Mr. Norris's biographer.

BLOSSOM: You're certainly right about being rude.

DUSTY: I plead guilty.

BLOSSOM: Another complaint your former colleagues had?

DUSTY: You'd think they'd find at least something nice to say to break the monotony a little.

BLOSSOM: What can I say? Mr. Norris is dead. I'm rattled. When I get nervous I end up talking too much.

DUSTY: Fair enough. Makes my job a little easier.

BLOSSOM: Besides, it's not as if I have anything to hide.

DUSTY: Aside from having Mr. Norris as your client.

BLOSSOM: Which you have no reason to repeat to anybody.

DUSTY: I've been in town less than a day. I have no friends to tell.

BLOSSOM: You're a funny one, William. You're not like the other Pinkies.

DUSTY: I actually take that as a huge compliment.

BLOSSOM: Most would insist on "free ones" to keep quiet.

DUSTY: That sounds like my former colleagues.

BLOSSOM: So you were a Pinkie.

DUSTY: Like I said, hard to wash off that stink.

BLOSSOM: Look, whatever Stubby's hired you to do, I don't care. Personally, I don't think he's entitled to Mr. Norris's arquebus, but it's really none of my business. Fella's got to make a living. Anyway, I should go. (Starts to exit. Stops.) You know, thanks to Mr. Norris, I have a lot more money than you would believe. Find out who did this. I'll pay you a handsome reward, William.

DUSTY: What if I need to see you again?

BLOSSOM: You know where to find me. (Exits.)

DUSTY: (To himself.) "Speak" to. "Speak to" you again. Come on, Denton. You're supposed to be smoother than that. (Pause. Looks at the BODY.) Well, Eileen. We got ourselves a dead body and a Hooker With a Heart of Hate, telling me some bosh about some missing heirloom. Still, maybe I should look into this story about this priceless gun. Well, not sure if there's any point lingering here talking to myself. Maybe a cursory look around the place then a visit to the Sheriff's to-

HARRY: (Off.) Mike! Hey, Mike!

MIKE: (Off.) Yeah, what?

HARRY: (Off.) Put that down and get in here!

MIKE: (Off.) Why do you need me, Harry?

HARRY: (Off.) Mr. Norris said he wanted to see both of us. Now come on!

DUSTY exits to hide. MIKE and HENRY, no older than 19, enter.

MIKE: I swear, Harry. Norris says frog and you...(They see the BODY.)...jump...

HARRY: Holy smokes.

MIKE: Sweet Jesus.

HARRY: What the hell happened here?

MIKE: We got to get the Sheriff.

HARRY: You kidding? He'll think we did it!

MIKE: Halfwit, he'll think we did it if we don't go to him!

HARRY: This is a nightmare...

MIKE: Sally's going to blow her stack...

HARRY: Mike, you gotta forget Sally. She's the least of your worries.

MIKE: I guess so.

HARRY: Norris got more than he bargained for with the Pinkertons.

CHARLIE enters.

CHARLIE: I say, my ears are ringing. (MIKE and HARRY stiffen.) Now, what are we boys...(Sees BODY.) Oh. I...see. (Very deviant, haughty tone.) In a spot of trouble, are we, boys?

HARRY: We didn't do this, we swear!

MIKE: We just got here, Detective Burnside, honest!

CHARLIE: (Examining the BODY.) Calm down, boys. This body's cold. Been dead several hours. Blow to the head with a blunt object. I know you boys aren't murderers. You don't have it in you?

MIKE: How would you know that?

HARRY: For Christ's sake, shut up, Mike!

CHARLIE: It's in the eyes. The posture. Whether or not there's piss running down the pant legs at the sight of a corpse. (Both MIKE and HARRY check their pant legs.) You do my job as long as I have, some things you can recognize as easy as your mother's face. Harry's right, by the way. Mike, Sally's the least of your worries. Stubby already thinks you're a bad egg. He finds out you're sweet on one of his girls, he's sure to have you bite the ground and leave you like your former employer here.

MIKE: How did you know that-

CHARLIE: -I have my sources. We Never Sleep.

MIKE: I mean, blazes, Detective Burnside. Do you think Stubby's as dangerous as he's been wanting us to believe? You don't think he'd go so far as to-

CHARLIE: (Notices lantern.) Thought you boys said you just got here.

HARRY: We did!

MIKE: No less than a minute after you!

CHARLIE: (Indicating lantern.) Then who lit that? (Silence.)

HARRY: That was on when we got here.

CHARLIE: Someone's been here since Mr. Norris was killed. (Silence.)

MIKE: Who?

CHARLIE: I have an idea. I also have a good source who can fill me in on some of the missing pieces.

HARRY: Who?

CHARLIE: (Pause.) Boys, I think you better go. Go tell the Sheriff to get here right away. I think he'd like to know his cousin is dead. I'll search the house to see if anything was stolen. I probably won't be here by the time you get back, but tell the Sheriff I'll be at my hotel in an hour if he needs to contact me.

HARRY: Okay.

MIKE: Sure thing, Detective Burnside. Let's go, Harry.

CHARLIE: Oh, and one more thing, fellas. There's a bad egg that's just come into town. He'll most likely be snooping around the area, acting like a Pinkerton Agent. I assure you, he's most certainly nothing of the sort. My colleagues and I have reason to believe he's very dangerous and intends to rob the Norris estate. When you're done with the Sheriff and whatever final chores you had to do for Mr. Norris, come to my hotel and I'll give you all the information you need on this curly wolf and how you can take him down if you cross paths.

MIKE & HARRY: Yes, sir.

HARRY: (To MIKE.) Told you Norris got more than he bargained for with the Pinkertons.

MIKE: For God's sake, Harry, shut up! (MIKE and HARRY exit.)

CHARLIE: (Looking around. Pulls out gun.) Whoever's been here, you best still not be around. You woke up the wrong passenger. (Exits through different hallway than

DUSTY:)

DUSTY reenters, checks hallway Charlie went down. Looks at Norris's BODY.

DUSTY: (To Norris's BODY.) Don't know about you, Norris, but I could certainly go for some tongue oil and some ladies of the line.

TO BE CONTINUED

© 2007 James Comtois

To Get Everyone Up To Speed...

...I'm posting the scripts to the first two episodes of Pinkie. Episode Three, "Local Color," goes up tomorrow night at the Battle ranch.

Here's episode one:

PINKIE

Episode I: What’s That Smell? (Pilot)

By James Comtois

CHARLIE: (Either off-stage or directly to the audience.) The Pinkerton National Detective Agency was a nationwide private detective agency established by Allan Pinkerton in 1850. The agency's logo, an eye embellished with the words "We Never Sleep," inspired the term "private eye." During its height, the Pinkerton Detective Agency employed more agents than the U.S. standing army. By the 1890s, some believed the organization was a necessary force in maintaining peace and order while remaining under the radar. Some believed Pinkertons, or "Pinkies," were corrupt mercenaries hired by Robber Barons to infiltrate labor unions and intimidate strikers...

If CHARLIE is on-stage, he now exits.

EILEEN and WILLIAM "DUSTY" DENTON enter a storefront that's in disarray.

EILEEN: What's that smell?

DUSTY: It's the smell of a new life, Eileen.

EILEEN: Smells of possum urine.

DUSTY: We'll air it out. It'll do.

EILEEN: I don't know, Mr. Denton. I think word of mouth that this place stinks of possum piss is gonna drive customers away.

DUSTY: Come on, Eileen. That's no way to think. With a bit of grit and some elbow grease, we'll get this place in shape in no time.

EILEEN: I hope so. I'm feeling light-headed.

DUSTY: Oh, you're being melodramatic.

EILEEN: I'm getting the vapors.

DUSTY: Crack a window, then.

EILEEN: I was going to ask you how you could afford a place like this, but now I know.

DUSTY: Oh, hey now. I'm pretty sure within a week you'll be thinking of this place as your home away from home. Plus, it wasn't that cheap.

EILEEN: Pinkies get paid well?

DUSTY: I did.

EILEEN: And judging by the sound of your voice you want me to keep talking about this.

DUSTY: (Smiles.) Always were a sharp one, Eileen.

EILEEN: Thank you, Mr. Denton.

DUSTY: Please, Eileen. Mr. Denton's my father's name. Dusty's fine. Or even William.

EILEEN: I'll see what I can do, Mr. Denton.

DUSTY: Fair enough. Will you look at this place? I love it already.

EILEEN: You seem chipper today.

DUSTY: Well, what can I say? I have a good feeling about this. But who knows? Maybe that's just because it's the first day, and nothing's happened to sour my mood.

EILEEN: Could be.

DUSTY: So let's find out what's causing that stink and get rid of it.

EILEEN: (Sighs.) Fine.
They start trying to put things in order, cleaning up chairs and moving aside trash. While they do so, a sullen-looking man, STUBBY GILBERT, enters.

STUBBY: Uh, excuse me? Is this...is this the...whoo! What's that smell?

DUSTY: We're not sure. Eileen thinks a possum micturated in the closet.

EILEEN: Not in the closet. On every square inch of this place.

DUSTY: Eileen...

STUBBY: It's pretty strong.

EILEEN: I think it got the curtains, too-

DUSTY: -We're working on it. How can I help you?

STUBBY: Anyway. Is this the Pinkerton Agency?

DUSTY: Ah, no, not exactly.

STUBBY: Oh. But I was told that this store was bought to be a detective agent's office...

DUSTY: Oh, it is. But I'm not a Pinkie. As in, I was, but not...how can I help you?

STUBBY: Well, my name's Stubby Gilbert. I run the Arcade Saloon, about four doors down.

DUSTY: Oh, hello. I'm Dusty Denton. This is my assistant, Eileen Clayton.

STUBBY: Pleased to meet you both.

EILEEN: Likewise.

DUSTY: How can I help you?

STUBBY: Well, I am in need of some help. You're a private investigator?

DUSTY: I am.

STUBBY: How much do you charge?

DUSTY: The standard rate is ten dollars a day plus expenses.

STUBBY: That seems more than reasonable.

DUSTY: I believe so.

STUBBY: I don't know if I can trust you, but...

DUSTY: Well, that makes two of us.

STUBBY: Pardon?

DUSTY: We've just met. There's no reason for either one of us to trust one another. But that's a risk we'll have to take for now.

STUBBY: Fair enough.

DUSTY: So, how bout you tell me your story and I'll let you know if I can help you?

STUBBY: Okay.

DUSTY: Eileen? You ready?

EILEEN: Yes, Mr. Denton. (Begins to take notes.)

STUBBY: Like I said, I run the Arcade Saloon four doors down. I bought it from Skinny Walker three years ago. I have all the paperwork proving its legitimacy if you need-

DUSTY: -Stubby. I've been a resident of this town for roughly one hour. Yes, I'm a private investigator, which makes me suspicious by nature. But I have no reason yet to not take its residents or businesses at face value. If you say you run the local saloon, you run the local saloon.

STUBBY: Oh. Sure. Well, I run a good, clean establishment. And it's been profitable, too. But lately, I've been dealing with some threatening behavior from a group of ne'erdowells.

DUSTY: Threatening? How do you mean?

STUBBY: Well, I've woken up late at night to the sound of people on horseback circling around my home and screaming nasty insults.

DUSTY: Death threats?

STUBBY: Well, not exactly. Mostly just insults. But it's definitely threatening. Also, the windows of the Arcade have been broken on more than a couple occasions by people throwing rocks.

DUSTY: Any of them have notes attached to them?

STUBBY: No, sir.

DUSTY: Okay. Now...are you sure these incidents are related? Maybe this is a series of coincidences? Just..."boys being boys?"

STUBBY: I don't think so. These incidents have been happening too often to make me think it's just a coincidence. Plus, they do coincide with another incident.

DUSTY: Which is...?

STUBBY: I have reason to believe this is the work of Jason Norris. He's a profiteer. Makes his fortune on a number of industries all at once, ranging from dry goods to the railroads. He had expressed interest in purchasing the Arcade. When I told him it wasn't for sale, he kept trying. When I insisted, he stopped being polite about it. Started telling me that I was being a damn stubborn fool and that the saloon would be his within six months time and I should just accept that as fact. When I refused to budge, he stopped asking. Kept to himself from then on.

DUSTY: So the harassment began shortly after he stopped asking you about the Arcade?

STUBBY: Yes, sir. And he has some ne'erdowells, young kids, no older n' fifteen, sixteen, working for him as hired hands. I have reason to believe they're the same kids that have been harassing me these past few days.

DUSTY: Now, why would he want the Arcade so badly? If he already has other prospects, I can't imagine-

STUBBY: -It's the most lucrative business in six counties. Norris wants to settle down here. He just built a house. He has no interest in going back east. Plus, he's always been used to getting his way. If he wants something, he doesn't take no for an answer.

DUSTY: Has anyone been hurt?

STUBBY: No, not yet. But I don't want to wait around until they do.

DUSTY: I understand. Now, may I ask why you don't just talk to the sheriff about this? I met him earlier this week and he seems like a reasonable man. If you just-

STUBBY: -The sheriff is a reasonable man. And a just man. But when it comes to Norris, he's completely blinded.

DUSTY: They have history?

STUBBY: You could say that. They're cousins.

DUSTY: Fair enough.

STUBBY: No, the sheriff would just say I'm being paranoid and mean-spirited and trying to ruin the reputation of a good man with no proof.

DUSTY: I see.

STUBBY: So can you help me?

DUSTY: Perhaps. Do you have Mr. Norris's address?

STUBBY: Yes. I wrote it down right here. (Hands DUSTY a piece of paper. DUSTY takes it.) It's about eight miles south of the center of town. Right by the river.

DUSTY: Okay, thank you.

STUBBY: If you're going over there, make sure you have at least two guns. His boys are always-

DUSTY: -I don't even have one gun, Stubby.

STUBBY: Oh. Well, if you need, I'm sure you could see Jimmy and he could get you a good deal on-

DUSTY: -I haven't misplaced my gun, Stubby. I refuse to carry one.

STUBBY: Ever?

DUSTY: Ever.

STUBBY: But, Mr. Denton...

DUSTY: Dusty, please.

STUBBY: Well, Dusty, Norris's boys are pretty rough. You should have a gun on you if you're going to confront him.

DUSTY: I assure you, Stubby. I no longer carry a firearm. Even if I did, I would never use it. I don't believe I need one.

STUBBY: Suit yourself. Sounds like suicide to me, but I s'pose you know what you're doing.

DUSTY: I always suppose that myself.

STUBBY: What? Oh. Right. Well, anyway, if you want to come by to the Arcade tomorrow to keep me posted, or to just have a drink on the house, or...well, let me know.

DUSTY: Will do.

STUBBY: Thank you, Dusty. Welcome to town! (They shake hands, STUBBY exits.)

DUSTY: Well, that's good news! Our first client and our first case on Day One!

EILEEN: Things are looking up, Mr. Denton.

DUSTY: I guess we'll have to put the cleaning on hold and get to work.

EILEEN: I suppose so.

DUSTY: I'll check out the address Stubby gave me first thing tomorrow...okay, you know what? The smell's really getting to me.

EILEEN: I can barely stay conscious, Mr. Denton.

DUSTY: Do you think the general store is still open? I'm going to get some cleaning supplies.

EILEEN: Only one way to find out.

DUSTY: Right. I'll be right back. (Exits. Pause. Enters.) Eileen?

EILEEN: Yes, Mr. Denton?

DUSTY: Where is the general store?

EILEEN: I believe it's right in the center of town.

DUSTY: Okay. (Thinks about it.) Okay.

EILEEN: You're a detective, Mr. Denton. I think you can find it.

DUSTY: Right. Right! I am. (Determined and confident, he exits.)

EILEEN resumes cleaning with what little resources she has. CHARLIE BURNSIDE, a well-dressed man, enters, admiring the place.

CHARLIE: What's that smell?

EILEEN: Oh, that. Yeah, sorry.

CHARLIE: Smells like possum urine.

EILEEN: We're trying to air it out. Can I help you?

CHARLIE: Yes. I was told that Dusty Denton had opened up a detective agency in this town and I could find him at this address. True?

EILEEN: Well, yes. He's not in at the moment, but if you'd like to wait...

CHARLIE: Well, I can't stay long.

EILEEN: He should just be a minute. He left to pick up some supplies.

CHARLIE: (Walking around the room.) Gotta say, Dusty's done quite well for himself.

EILEEN: Are you a friend?

CHARLIE: Oh, yes. An old friend from home. (Extends hand.) I'm Charlie. Charlie Burnside.

EILEEN: (Accepts hand.) Eileen Clayton.

CHARLIE: Charmed. You know, I've known Dusty a long while and he never mentioned anything about you...

EILEEN: Well, oh, no. We're not...I just work for him.

CHARLIE: Ah, I see. Well, I can see why he hired you. (Pinches her cheek. EILEEN looks uncomfortable.) If he needs to have an assistant around him all day, might as well have someone easy on the eyes.

EILEEN: (Breaks free. Cold.) Well, yes. Thank you. I think he needed help organizing files.

CHARLIE: Our boy's got a lot of files already?

EILEEN: Well...it's our first day.

CHARLIE: So it is, so it is.

EILEEN: Now, perhaps it may be a while longer, if you'd like to just relay a message and let me know where you're staying I could tell Mr. Denton-

CHARLIE: (Definitely more sinister.) -Oh, but Miss Clayton. I thought he'd be here any moment. Are you telling me to leave?

EILEEN: (Nervous.) Well, no, I didn't exactly say that...

CHARLIE: I thought Dusty would want someone with manners to be mining his...store.

EILEEN: Mr. Burnside, I believe-

CHARLIE: -Charlie, please.

EILEEN: Mr. Burnside, you are being unnecessarily forward, and I don't believe Mr. Denton would appreciate this behavior.

CHARLIE: (Cornering EILEEN) Oh, I'm sure when Dusty sees me, he'll forgive my garish conduct. We are, after all, old friends.

EILEEN: Why am I finding that hard to believe?

CHARLIE: (Grabbing her by the wrists.) You've got a mouth on you, Miss Clayton. Guess Dusty's not one for teaching his staff manners.
DUSTY enters, holding bags of supplies.

DUSTY: Wow, Eileen. Our first day and we already have... (DUSTY and CHARLIE face each other. DUSTY's smile falls. Silence.) Charlie.

CHARLIE: (Letting go of EILEEN.) Hello, Dusty. Good to see you again. (Silence.) Don't you feel the same about me?

DUSTY: What are you doing here, Charlie?

CHARLIE: Oh, hey now. Is that any way to treat your old partner?

EILEEN: Mr. Denton, this person said you were old friends from home...

DUSTY: (Not taking his eyes off CHARLIE) Did he now?

EILEEN: Is everything okay?

DUSTY: Well, I don't know, Charlie. Is everything okay?

CHARLIE: You know, I was beginning to think your pretty little assistant here had acquired a nasty attitude on her own, but it's clear now who she looks to for her sense of hospitality.

DUSTY: Get the hell out of here, Charlie.

CHARLIE: Oh, and see I was hoping we could at least play nice for a few minutes before getting down to business.

DUSTY: We have no business together, Charlie. Not anymore.

CHARLIE: No, but you see, Dusty. We do. I've heard that Stubby is thinking of hiring you to help him with his predicament.

DUSTY: How the hell did you find that...that's none of your business.

CHARLIE: I mean, I'm proud of you trying to start things up anew for yourself. Really, I am. But I did want to let you know that the Pinkertons can take care of this one.

DUSTY: What?

CHARLIE: After all, it is your first day. Why don't you take things slowly, solve some small, fun cases? You know, getting to the bottom of Mrs. Crabtree's missing linens? Or discovering the whereabouts of Texas Steve's missing horse? Or even find out who's fucking the sheriff's wife? Something like this, with Stubby, well...you may be in over your head. You don't have the resources needed to investigate such a matter.

DUSTY: It's none of your business, Charlie.

CHARLIE: No, but you see, Dusty. It is. You're no longer a Pinkerton Agent. You have no right snooping around the Big Boys' turf. Stubby is our client.

DUSTY: The hell he is.

CHARLIE: (Pulls out his gun.) You misunderstand, Dusty. He's our client if you know what's best for you. (Silence.) Now, do you want to settle this honorably, or...oh, wait. That's right. You don't have a piece anymore, do you? Get all shaken carrying it. I forgot.

DUSTY: Get the hell out of here, Charlie.

CHARLIE pistol-whips DUSTY, who falls to the ground, tripping over a chair. EILEEN yelps out in surprise.

CHARLIE: With pleasure, you cowardly traitor. I was just trying to be nice here, Dusty, on account of our, you know, "history."

EILEEN: Get the hell out of here, you brute!

CHARLIE: (Pause.) All right. Fine. Since this is your first day, Dusty, I'm going to be nice. Tonight, enjoy your housewarming. Tomorrow, you call that barkeep and tell him you won't be able to take his case. The Pinkerton Agency will take care of it. (Exits.)

EILEEN: Oh, Mr. Denton. Mr. Denton! Are you okay? What a monster!

DUSTY: I'll be okay, Eileen. Thank you, thank you.

EILEEN: That's just awful. Our first client and we have to turn him down.

DUSTY: We won't be turning him down, Eileen. I'll be paying Mr. Norris a visit. Right after we get rid of that God-awful smell.

TO BE CONTINUED

© 2007 James Comtois

A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol Opens in Seven Days

Hello, elves and elvettes. Little Jimmy Comtois, bronze winner of the Little Jimmy Comtois Look-a-Like Contest, here to remind you that Nosedive's contribution to holiday cheer and merriment, A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol, opens in seven days at the Red Room on 85 East 4th Street.

It only runs for six performances (Thursdays through Saturdays from Dec. 6 through Dec. 15) and all the shows are at 11 p.m. That's right; we’re once again offering "After Hours" merriment.

And yes, we will once again be serving eggnog (both "jolly" and "extra-jolly").

And no, Tiny Tim has not been recast.

Tickets are $18 for adults, $12 for kids. Space is limited, so you should get them soon.

Your problem child,

James “Blitzer” Comtois

* * *

Nosedive Productions Presents

A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol

A play adapted from Charles Dickens’ story by James Comtois
Directed by Pete Boisvert

Featuring

Rebecca Comtois - Stephanie Cox-Williams - Jessi Gotta - Matt Johnston - Marc Landers - Marsha Martinez - Patrick Shearer - Brian Silliman - Ben Trawick-Smith - Ben VandenBoom - Scott Lee Williams

The Horse Trade Red Room, 85 East 4th Street

December 6-8, 13-15, Thursday through Saturday, 11 p.m.

Tickets are $18 for adults, $12 for children. 6 train to Astor Place; L train to 1st Avenue; or F, V train to 2nd Avenue Stations. For tickets call 212-352-3101 or go here.

Episode Three of Pinkie This Saturday!

Well, since A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol is still a week away, those needing an intermediate Nosedive fix should come on over to the Vampire Cowboys Battle Ranch this Saturday to check out the third installment in the Saturday Night Saloon series.

For Season 07-08, Vampire Cowboys launches its newest adventure in awesomeness, THE SATURDAY NIGHT SALOON, a semi-monthly party at THE BATTLE RANCH featuring brand new genre-bending serialized plays by NYC's hottest indie theatre artists. From Sci-fi Teenage Sex Comedies to Old West Film Noir, these new series will have you foaming at the mouth for the next installment.

And the best part, it's all FREE!

Plus for a $5 donation, all-you-can-drink beer (or until we run out).

THE SHOWS TURN UP THE VOLUME IN EPISODE 3!
COME CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS - SALOON STYLE!

Featuring all new exciting ongoing series by:

James Comtois
Co-Artistic Director of Nosedive Productions

Michael Lew
Member of The Ma-Yi Writers Lab

Jeff Lewonczyk
Co-Artistic Director of Piper McKenzie Productions & The Brick Theater

Robert Ross Parker
Co-Artistic Director of Vampire Cowboys

Webb Wilcoxen
Member of LAByrinth Theater Company & Developing Artists Theater Company

Saturday, December 1st, 2007
@ 8 p.m.

FREE ADMISSION!
at THE BATTLE RANCH
111 Conselyea Street, #2L
Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Click here for a map!

Saturday Night Saloon Schedule:
Saturday, September 29th, 2007
Saturday, October 27th, 2007
Saturday, December 1st, 2007
Saturday, January 5th, 2008
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008

Letter From Martin Denton

From Mr. Martin Denton, founder/editor/chief reviewer for nytheatre.com, nytheatrecast.com and indietheater.org:

Hello!

I'm writing to nytheatre.com's readers and supporters to update you about what we've been up to, and to ask for your help in making 2008 our best year ever.

This year has been particularly exciting for us, as we've transformed from web publisher to new media producer. Most of you probably know me as the editor and founder of nytheatre.com, but I am also its designer-webmaster-systems developer, and the changes in my job over the past 12 months have been numerous and important.

As I hope you have been noticing, we have been working hard to enhance and upgrade our website, adding features like interactive venue maps, improving the site's look and feel, and providing more customization and reader-friendliness to all our web pages. We've entered the world of "Web 2.0" with our regular nytheatrecast podcast series, our four blogs, our newsfeeds, and other features that enable our readers to engage actively with our content.

We've expanded our enterprise from one website -- nytheatre.com -- to four websites: indietheater.org is home to detailed coverage of the exciting and blossoming independent theater scene in NYC; nyte.org is our corporate website and includes an online "catalog" of our play anthologies; and nytheatrecast.com is home base for our weekly podcasts.

We launched mobile.nytheatre.com this summer, providing (as far as we know) the first dedicated theatre site for folks who access the web via cellphone, Blackberry, iPhone, PDA, etc. The first release of mobile.nytheatre.com includes detailed venue info along with new reviews, our reviewers' picks, and ticket discounts. Much more is planned for mobile.nytheatre.com 2.0 which should launch in 2008.

Which brings me to some of our other plans for next year. We're hoping that in 2008 we will provide more coverage of theatre in NYC's suburbs, deeper coverage of indie theater companies, and more interactive mapping, to name just three planned areas of expansion.

We're also working on utilizing the latest Internet advances -- everything from blogging to social networking to tagging and more -- so that nytheatre.com and our other websites can become even more useful resources for the theatre community. We will be harnessing these new technologies so that you can access the information you need more quickly and more easily, and so that you will have more choices about how this information is provided and more opportunities to interact with it. There's a heap of content about the New York theatre scene on the World Wide Web these days; nytheatre.com and its "sister sites" will be here to help you find it, navigate it, and make sense of it.

Of course, all of this requires sufficient funding to make it happen. We've actually reduced some of our costs during the past year by moving to more efficient web hosting partners and adopting an open source software development platform for our technology. But even with these economies, our annual budget needs to grow to accommodate the new projects and programs that I mentioned above.

While we are supported in part by the New York State Council on the Arts and the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, and by a few foundations, we rely on contributions from you, our readers and supporters, to meet nytheatre.com's operating costs each year.

So as we enter our 11th year as a free resource to the New York theatre community on the web and elsewhere, I ask you to please make a donation. Any amount will be vitally helpful to us: $10, $25, $50 ... $100 or $500 if you can afford that. At whatever level you choose, your generous gift will be greatly appreciated and gratefully acknowledged, and it will go directly toward development of the exciting and significant new programs we are planning for 2008.

Please follow this link to make a secure credit card donation at our shop.nyte.org website:

http://shop.nyte.org/donatetonyte.aspx

Because we are a 501(c)(3) charitable organization, your contribution is deductible as allowed by state and federal income tax laws.

If you prefer to make your donation by check, please send it to:

The New York Theatre Experience, Inc.
P.O. Box 1606
Murray Hill Station
New York, NY 10156

Thank you for reading this and thank you in advance for helping us grow nytheatre.com to meet the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead in 2008 and beyond. I am so excited about making our websites into resources that are increasingly fun, helpful, and valuable to our readers. Please let me know how we're doing!

And have a joyous and safe holiday season.

Best regards,

Martin

Martin Denton
Editor/Founder/Producer
nytheatre.com
nytheatrecast.com
indietheater.org

Whining Versus Doing

I really don't think I could have put it better myself.

MattJ writes:

I am really not interested right now on waxing philosophical and hypothetical about 'what theatre means to society,' or 'what kind of theatre we should be making in the 21st century,' or whatever. I've sort of had my fill of conversations about what is theatre and what isn't theatre, and what place theatre should play in society and why on earth people won't come see our shows.

I'm just sort of sick of whining about it. The more we whine the more we marginalize ourselves, in my opinion, and my patience for theatre folk who appropriate the word "culture" to the arts and theatre alone is wearing thin. We wonder why we're not connecting with anybody. But we're not trying to talk to anyone on any terms other than our own. One thing all of us can agree on, I think, is that theatre is not a selfish art. In fact, it may be the least selfish art. Why must we be so selfish with it then? Why must we judge our potential audiences instead of engaging with them?

Emphasis mine.

Well put, Jennif...er, Matt!

Being equally useless in the
current conversation on theatre,

James "I'm Gonna Write Something On
Horror Movies Again I Swear" Comtois

Returning

Well, I hope all of you reading this had a good Thanksgiving. I’ve recovered from my tryptophanian stupor and have returned from New England to the Rotten Apple, just in time to prep for episode three of Pinkie, which goes up this Saturday and A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol, which opens next week.

Since these shows are opening very soon, as is the One-Minute Play Festival, the bulk of the posts this week will again be of the "blatant plugging" variety. I'm hoping to write up the one show I've seen in the past couple weeks (Unrestricted Acts: Violence & Vaudeville, a double-bill of one-acts that played at the Kraine), so with a little luck, there will be some substance on this site in the not-too-distant future.

But in the meantime, if you're looking for blog posts of substance, I strongly recommend reading this and this.
Anyway, let's make the most of these few weeks of the proverbial grind before going back to holiday land.

Still craving turkey,

James "Craving Eggnog As Well" Comtois

Isaac Butler's Open Letter to the Times

Well, I'm slowly digesting the delicious feast that my cousin Vance and his girlfriend Laura prepared for our family and deciding to stop my holiday hiatus to point out Mr. Isaac Butler throwing down the gauntlet before the New York Times and specifically Charles Isherwood in his open letter here.

Isaac writes:

"Isherwood is a vacuous and uninteresting writer. He prefers being clever to being incisive, and venerating himself as a writer over looking at the work he has been tasked to see. And his "think pieces" at the Times- one of which is represented by this column- are usually stuff that has less thought behind it than the average post to be found on the Internet on various theatrical blog sites. Isherwood's idea of serious commentary is to criticize Cherry Jones for being miscast, say that the Coast of Utopia is dull, or talk about how great it is not to go to the theatre."

Read the whole thing here.

Do I have a lot to add? No, not really. Isaac's pretty much said it all. Although I'm not particularly worked up over this as some...

(at this late in the game, I'm about as disinterested in the Times as the Times is in me; that's not so much sour grapes as it is realizing that my ability to continue to stage work and having said work get seen, reviewed and discussed has nothing to do with the Newspaper of Record.)

...I've been repeatedly underwhelmed with Mr. Isherwood's assessments, insights and writing abilities. In other words, I've always thought he was (is) a subpar reviewer and a subpar arbiter of taste and art.

Anyway, I figured you should check out Isaac's post.

You may resume the rest of your holiday feasting.

Already checking for leftovers,

James "Lil' Piggy" Comtois

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY!

I'm off to Boston and new Hampshire. I’ll return on Monday. Have a good holiday, everyone.

Eatin' a bird,

James "Thurman T. Turkey" Comtois

"Metaphor"

The opening segment from Pulp. Written by Yours Truly, directed by Rebecca Comtois. Featuring Patrick Shearer, Pete Boisvert and Rebecca Comtois. Shot & edited by Ben VandenBoom.

Being pretentious and lowbrow,

James "Trashypants" Comtois

Get Your Tickets For A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol

Nosedive Productions Presents

A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol

A play adapted from Charles Dickens’ story by James Comtois
Directed by Pete Boisvert

The Horse Trade Red Room, 85 East 4th Street
December 6-8, 13-15, Thursday through Saturday, 11 p.m.

The Holiday Classic. Revamped for Cynics.

"An outstanding production, as measured on the Laugh Till You Cry index. Definitely worth a 10."
OOBR.com

"Patrick Shearer's portrayal of Scrooge is truly the best performance I have seen on off-off Broadway all year."
OffoffOnline.com

Due to both popular demand and the exorbitant amount of fun the company had staging it in years past, Nosedive Productions is re-helming their version of A Christmas Carol at a new venue and a new time.

Writer James Comtois and director Pete Boisvert's version of the Dickensian classic opens on the ghost of Jacob Marley lamenting his fate at having to teach Scrooge the same lesson, year after year, and of having to tell the same story to audiences year after year. The spirits haunting Scrooge have done this countless times, every Christmas, over and over again — and they’re tired. So, the ghosts may be a little late this year. Hey, they have auditions to go to.

A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol will be performed at the Horse Trade Red Room, (85 East 4th Street at 2nd Ave.) December 6-8 & 13-15 (Thursday through Saturday). All shows are at 11 p.m., tickets are $18 for adults, $12 for children. 6 train to Astor Place; L train to 1st Avenue; or F, V train to 2nd Avenue Stations. For tickets call 212-352-3101 or visit TheaterMania.com.

• • •


Patrick Shearer (left) and Brian Silliman in A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol (Photo by Aaron Epstein)

Monarch Theater Company: One Minute Play Festival

On December 1st and 2nd, 2007 The Monarch Theater Company presents The One Minute Play Festival at The Brick Theater in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Curated by Dominic D’Andrea, The One Minute Play Festival is an informal festival of incredibly short plays. Thirty-four of today’s most exciting playwrights were challenged to write plays with only one rule: it must be under 60 seconds from lights up to lights down. Then eleven directors were assigned several plays to be staged with a small ensemble of actors. And all of the plays will be presented in the course of a single evening!

The One Minute Play Festival features PLAYWRIGHTS: Mando Alvarado, Trista Baldwin, Andy Bragen, Abigail Browde, Clay McLeod Chapman, Alley Collier, James Comtois, Emily Conbere, Migdalia Cruz, Mike Daisey, Bathsheba Doran, Michael John Garces, Jason Grote, Ashlin Halfnight, Christina Ham, Jakob Holder, J. Holtham, Kyle Jarrow, Rajiv Joseph, Sibyl Kempson, Callie Kimball, Courtney Brooke Lauria, Matthew Lopez, Qui Nguyen, Emily O’Dell, Matt Olmos, Daria Politan, Mac Rogers, Trav SD, Lloyd Suh, Adam Szymkowicz, Andrea Thome, Gary Winter, & Anna Zeigler

DIRECTORS: Isaac Butler, Jay Cohen, Dominic D’Andrea, Michael Gardner, Marlo Hunter, Yana Landowne, Taibi Magar, Jennifer Ortega, Michael Silverstone, Max Williams and Jordan Young

The One Minute Play Festival will be presented on Saturday, December 1 at 9 p.m. and Sunday, December 2nd at 7 p.m. at THE BRICK THEATER, 575 Metropolitan Ave. in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Tickets are $15 suggested donation and are available at the door only.

www.monarchtheater.org

www.bricktheater.com

"What Color is the Sun?"

This was the closing piece for The Blood Brothers Present: PULP. Conceived by Pete Boisvert & Patrick Shearer. Featuring Anna Kull and Gyda Arber. Video shot & edited by Ben VandenBoom.

More videos to come.

Pete and I As Cartoon Characters Once Again

By Jeremy Yuenger

Did He Just...?

Did Matt Johnston just write a new blog post?

Holy crap, he did!

Amazed,

James "So Proud" Comtois

Since I had to work two Saturdays at my day job in October, I decided to give myself a three-day weekend, hence my radio silence on Monday. (Not that it really matters; this space has pretty much been solely a What James Has Been Doing On His Nights Off forum.)

The cast of "Beowulf, Krygor 9 & the Unicorn" and I had an absolute blast at Sunday night's Revamped show, and it seems as though the audience enjoyed themselves as well. Many thanks to Qui, Abby, Robert and the rest of the Vampire Cowboys gang for inviting us to participate in this.

Also, many thanks are in order to everyone who came out to the Ranch on Sunday night.

Photos should be up soon.

This week, we here at Nosedive Central are prepping to send out our end-of-year fundraising letter, so we can attempt our ambitious 2008 goals (stage my superhero-ey play Colorful World and remount The Adventures of Nervous-Boy in a foreign country) on top of rehearsing A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol, which goes up this December at the Horse Trade Red Room. I'll offer more details on the show very soon.

* * *

I'm not 100% sure when 1,000-plus-word entries will return to Jamespeak; maybe not until 2008, to be perfectly honest. I realize that in immersing myself in damn near constant playwriting, producing and rehearsing until the end of the year, blogging has landed firmly on the back burner.

I'm not saying this is good or bad, right or wrong, or that I'm sick of blogging. I'm just saying that I've had to focus a substantial amount of time and energy to (among other things) writing and rehearsing Pinkie and haven't had a great deal of time to delve into the subjects I like delving into with the blog (self-producing, reviews, the membrane-thin divide between High Art and lowbrow trash, Katharine McPhee).

Will this change? Most likely. But it's going to take a little while. Have patience, young Padawans.

Jerkin' y'all around,

James "Uncle Randy" Comtois

Edward Albee Profile in the New York Times

Read it.

Revamped This Sunday

Vampire Cowboys very popular series returns!

Revamped: Sci-Fi Fairy Tales

This year, six of NYC's hottest playwrights give Mother Goose the science fiction treatment by smacking down her fables with a special blend of outrageous outerspace adventure!

The night is sponsored by The Onion and Brooklyn Brewery. Along with the shows, the night will include video performances by Vampire Cowboys, musical guests, and free wine and beer.

Featuring a slew of awesome new space fairy tales by:

Carla Ching
Member of The Ma-Yi Writers Lab

James Comtois
Co-Artistic of Nosedive Productions

Jeff Lewonczyck
Co-Artistic Director of Piper McKenzie Productions
& The Brick Theater

Rob Neill
Managing Director of The New York Neo-Futurists

Eric Sanders
Member of The Thursday Problem
& Working Man's Clothes

Lloyd Suh
Co-Director of The Ma-Yi Writers Lab
& Second Generation Productions,
Member of Ensemble Studio Theatre

Sunday, November 11th, 2007
@ 8 p.m.

at THE BATTLE RANCH
111 Conselyea Street, #2L
(Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
Click here for a map

$20 Admission

Click here for tickets
Or call 212-352-3101

The Bad Blogger Checks In

Episode Three of Pinkie has just been completed and sent to the cast. I guess that, rather than drag my feet between episodes as I did with episodes 2 & 3, I should jump right in with 4. So, with luck, the penultimate episode of Pinkie should be done within the next couple weeks.

We had rehearsal for “Beowulf, Krygor 9 & The Unicorn” for REVAMPED last night, which reminded me that we have a pretty damn funny contribution to the Sunday show at the Battle Ranch, if I do say so myself.

Tomorrow night's the first reading with the cast for A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol, which goes up at the Horse Trade Red Room this December.

I guess tonight will consist of me watching really lame television.

Just checking in,

James "Bad Blogger" Comtois

The Gallery is Up!

The photos for The Blood Brothers Present: PULP are up. Check them out.

Still Truckin...

Sorry for the delay in posting. With overcoming my hangover (just now) from the close of PULP, finishing episode two of Pinkie and seeing two very enjoyable shows this week (Bryan Enk’s The Crow: Final at the Brick Theatre on Tuesday and Clay McLeod Chapman’s Pumpkin Pie Show Halloween Extravaganza last night at UNDER St. Mark’s), I either have too much to write about or not enough.

So, for the time being, I’ll direct your attention over to these blog posts, which I think are Required Reading for those working in the theatre world. I’ll just add that I do believe that for playwrights whose names aren’t Sarah Ruhl or Tony Kushner, self-producing is really the way to go in getting your work staged. I can’t recommend it enough.

(I do realize that advocating self-producing is very much in the “Tilting At Windmills” category, but at the very least, I can rest assured in knowing that at least I didn’t bit my tongue on the subject.)

Anyway, I’m now gearing up for A Very Nosedive Christmas Carol, episode three of Pinkie (and by “gearing up for,” episode three, I mean “finish writing”) and REVAMPED, details for which are below.

Maybe I’ll use this space to do more than just blatant plugging. Maybe.

Then again, maybe not.

Your awkward date,

James “Sweaty” Comtois

Vampire Cowboys very popular series returns!

Revamped: Sci-Fi Fairy Tales

This year, six of NYC's hottest playwrights give Mother Goose the science fiction treatment by smacking down her fables with a special blend of outrageous outerspace adventure!

The night is sponsored by The Onion and Brooklyn Brewery. Along with the shows, the night will include video performances by Vampire Cowboys, musical guests, and free wine and beer.

Featuring a slew of awesome new space fairy tale by:

Carla Ching
Member of The Ma-Yi Writers Lab

James Comtois
Co-Artistic of Nosedive Productions

Jeff Lewonczyck
Co-Artistic Director of Piper McKenzie Productions
& The Brick Theater

Rob Neill
Managing Director of the New York Neo-Futurists

Eric Sanders
Member of The Thursday Problem
& Working Man's Clothes

Lloyd Suh
Co-Director of The Ma-Yi Writers Lab
& Second Generation Productions
Member of Ensemble Studio Theatre

Sunday, November 11th, 2007
@ 8 p.m.

at THE BATTLE RANCH
111 Conselyea Street, #2L
(Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
Click here for a map

$20 Admission

Click here for tickets
Or call 212-352-3101