In March: Nosedive's Apocalypse Gala

Nosedive Productions Presents...



Wednesday, March 14th @8pm

At the Kraine Theater

The Mayans have predicted that the world will end December of this year. We here at Nosedive Productions figure: why not bring about the apocalypse ahead of schedule?

On Wednesday, March 14, Nosedive Productions will be partying and performing like there's no tomorrow at the Kraine Theater.

So get some front-row seats to the carnage!

Tickets are $20 at the door. Proceeds go towards financing our 12th season, including the remounting of its maiden play that started it all, Monkeys.

NOSEDIVE'S APOCALYPSE GALA

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Featuring New Short Works By
Jeff Lewonczyk
Qui Nguyen
Mac Rogers
August Schulenburg

Comedy by New Hampshire's Own
Adam Wade

The Epic Poetry from the Inimitable
Brian Silliman

Burlesque by the Ravishing
Mme. Renee Rosebud

And (as all the kids are saying these days) MORE!

Wednesday, March 14th

At the Kraine Theater

8pm!

85 East 4th Street in NYC
(Between Second Avenue and Bowery)

6 train to Bleeker Street; or F train to Second Avenue

Doors at 7:30, Show at 8

$20

www.nosediveproductions.com

Happy Thanksgiving from Nosedive Productions!

Well, friends, family and well-wishers*, before we settle all our affairs with our 11th season and send it off into that Great Season in the Sky, we here at Nosedive Central wanted to wish all of you a happy Thanksgiving.

After doing three shows in three months — Captain Moonbeam & Lynchpin in June, The Blood Brothers present ... FREAKS FROM THE MORGUE in June & July and Infectious Opportunity in August — amidst personal health crises, we're both extremely proud of our 2011 season and quite relieved that we literally survived it. We are now ready and eager to move forward with our upcoming 12th season!

Since we could not have possibly done this massively ambitious endeavor without your continued generosity and support, we cannot thank you enough.

I can already feel it: 2012 is going to be a great year for Nosedive Productions. I'm currently writing — and almost finished — a number of plays at the moment, the details of which I shall offer very, very soon. But suffice it to say this will lead to the staging of a new original full-length show — possibly even more — as well as a new anthology of horror plays in October, we'll be embarking on a first-time endeavor for Nosedive in the beginning of the year: that of co-sponsoring a production from a visiting company.

Again, more details on that — beyond saying that we're incredibly excited about this — very, very soon.

Because of this, we need your help.

As it stands now, Nosedive needs at least $5,000 to both settle our affairs with our 2011 season and get started on our goals for our 2012 season.

If you could donate any amount to Nosedive Productions, which is now no longer under the umbrella of Fractured Atlas but now its own fully independent, not-for-profit company, you can now do so through the Network For Good site.

The new donation button can also be found on our website.

As always, your tax-deductible donation of any size helps, from $10 to cover the cost of printing the programs to $100 for a week's worth of rehearsal space.

Also, I wanted to thank you all again for your support during this particularly strenuous — but ultimately exciting and rewarding — year.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Regrettably looking and sounding
Absolutely nothing like Beyoncé,

James "Survivor" Comtois

*Well-wishers in that, like Moe Szyslak, you don't wish us any specific harm.

Discount Tix Still Available For AGENT G on Mar. 31

Hey, gang. Just wanted to shoot y'all a reminder that discounted tickets are still available for this Thursday night's performance of Vampire Cowboys' excellent new show, The Inexplicable Redemption of Agent G at the Incubator Arts Project on 131 E. 10th St.

You can get your tickets by going here.

And stick around after the show for some drinks and merriment.

Having seen this on opening night (and being quite excited to see it again), I can attest that this is one of the Cowboys' most ambitious, touching and engaging plays. Qui, Robert & Co. have taken their staple genre mashup/stage-combat style and given it the Charlie Kaufman treatment. The result is truly beautiful and stunning. Not to mention fun and funny as all hell.

So see you there! I can't wait to see this again...

Your boatswain to the beatific,

James "Deckswabber" Comtois

Discount Tickets/Afterparty for Vampire Cowboys' Agent G March 31st

Hey, gang. Little Jimmy Comtois here, ready to let you in on some cross-promotional goodness between the Vampire Cowboys and the folks at Nosedive Central. Basically, it's a fundraising event that will wind up saving you money. For reals.

For those of you who have yet to buy tickets for Vampire Cowboys' latest, The Inexplicable Redemption of Agent G, we're offering discounted ($15) tickets to the Thursday, March 31st show.

You can take advantage by clicking here.

And after the show, libations and refreshments (read: beer, snacks and Jell-O shots) will be served.

A portion of these discounted ticket sales will go to Nosedive Productions.

So. To recap:

You get to see an awesome show for less money.

You get free drinks afterwards.

Vampire Cowboys gets an awesome audience (yes, that means you).

Nosedive makes some money for its 11th season.

Everyone. Freakin. Wins.

So see you there at The Inexplicable Redemption of Agent G on March 31!

Loving you always,

James "Purr Machine" Comtois

Coming in March: Nosedive's Red-Ribbon Gala

Nosedive Productions Presents

Nosedive's Red-Ribbon Gala

A Benefit To Raise Money For Sick Theatre Awareness

Sick theatre is everywhere in this city. Unfortunately, so few people know about it, or know where to experience it.

In order to combat this tragic ignorance of sick theatre, Nosedive Productions is hosting a Red-Ribbon Gala at the Bowery Poetry Club on Saturday, March 5, to open people's eyes to plays of dubious morality.

Tickets are $20 at the door. Proceeds go towards financing our 11th season, which includes the remounted production of its NYIT Award-nominated Infectious Opportunity, a play about a man faking having HIV to boost his career by James Comtois and directed by Pete Boisvert.

For this Gala, Nosedive has rounded up some of its crazy-talented pals over the years to offer an evening of socializing and variety acts, including:

New Short Works By
Jeff Lewonczyk
Qui Nguyen
Mac Rogers
August Schulenburg
Crystal Skillman

Music by Dye Violets

The Epic Poetry Stylings of Brian Silliman

Burlesque by the Lovely and Libido-Inspiring Mme. Renee Rosebud

And (as the kids say) MORE!

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Saturday, March 5th at 8 p.m.!

At the Bowery Poetry Club on 308 Bowery in NYC

(Between Bleeker and East Houston streets)
6 train to Bleeker St.
B D F M to Broadway-Lafayette

Doors at 7:30 p.m., Show at 8 p.m.

$20

www.nosediveproductions.com

Tonight: Geek Out With HACK

Tonight, the Impetuous Theater Group is hosting a video game-playing fundraising event at Barcade for Hack! an I.T. Spaghetti Western by Crystal Skillman playing at the Brick Theater's Too Soon Festival this June.

I saw the serialized version of this show at the Vampire Cowboys' last Saturday Night Saloon and I can attest the show is great fun.

* * *

Were you a Donkey Kong champion in your youth? Did you stay up late playing Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Contra, Tetris, or Paper Boy on Nintendo? Here is your chance to get your nerd groove going and help us raise a little money to produce the kickass, laugh out loud show Hack! an I.T. Spaghetti Western by Crystal Skillman.

For $20 you get 20 quarters
(So it's really only $15)

Plus discount drinks all night, nerdy snacks to keep your energy up all night long, and cool prizes for the evening's high scores!

7 PM!!

BARCADE is located at 388 Union Ave (Williamsburg)
Take the L to Lorimer (Exit at Union Ave) OR
Take the G to Metropolitan

* * *

I'm definitely hitting both the show and the video game-playing fundraiser up. Join me?

Expecting to hit up Crystal for more quarters,

James "Arcade Game Junkie" Comtois

Short Version of Long Tale

Sorry about the dearth of posting of late, folks. I've been absolutely swamped with a number of disparate things (from work, to my personal life, to fundraising for Nosedive to prepping for The Little One). I'm actually hoping to write some entries on each of these elements at some point in the not-too-distant future.

In fact, Nosedive's working on a rather ambitious undertaking (well, ambitious for Nosedive, anyway), something that may merit a Guide to Self-Producing entry in the not-too-distant future (although I think I have to wait to see the results of said undertaking, and report on it either way, success or failure).

The short version is that we're involved in our largest fundraising effort to-date to finance our most expensive show to-date* (and bear in mind I mean, like, $12 grand...many of our peers stage shows four to five times that) as a means of enabling Nosedive to sustain itself and grow over the next few years.

Suffice it to say, we realized that we can't keep funding the shows the way we have been before. That is to say, we usually use the remaining "profit" from the previous show (about 1% of the next show's budget), collect a couple donations (about 10% of the budget), then scramble to pay for the rest (89%) ourselves based on which producer has money in their account at any given moment something is due (oh yes, we're professionals here at Nosedive Central; professionals who plan ahead).

We were fortunate to do our ninth season as a co-production with the Brick, which enabled us to produce two shows without having to put in a dime of our own money into either production. That was the upside. The downside was that we didn't really create enough of a reserve capital (since we split ticket sales with the Brick 50-50) to pay for the next show.

So, we've been working on a new(ish) finance/business plan that will enable Nosedive to continue without relying on the whims of its producers' employment statuses and income levels. If this works (even a little bit), perhaps we can continue to put out work we can be proud of and be just a little more financially solvent and independent.

We shall see. As always, we shall see.

That was the short version. I hope to write about the long version in the not-too-distant future.

Waggling his weenis at oncoming cars,

James "Business Exec" Comtois

*Little Nosedive fun-fact: our most expensive show until now was The Adventures of Nervous-Boy, which was about $9,500. And oddly enough, it was profitable.

This Tuesday: Nosedive's 10th Anniversary Gala

That's right, folks. To celebrate 10 years of playmaking shenanigans, we're starting this 10th anniversary season with a bang. And by "bang," I mean, "evening of entertainment and imbibing mass quantities of alcohol" (that's what "bang" means, right?).

This Tuesday, March 9, Nosedive Productions is having its 10th Anniversary Gala at the Brick Theater.

The way it works is simple: you show up to the Brick on Tuesday night with $20, we entertain the hell out of you and get you all liquored up.

You have a blast. We have some startup money for our upcoming play, The Little One. Everyone wins.

Trust me, folks. It's a-gonna be crazy fun.

Getting all lathered up,

James "Scottish Spring" Comtois

Nosedive Productions Presents

Nosedive's 10th Anniversary Gala

A Fundraising Variety Show & Party a Decade in the Making

In addition to drinking heavily and waxing nostalgic, Nosedive has rounded up some of its crazy-talented pals over the years to offer an evening of socializing and variety acts, including:

New Short Works By
Jeff Lewonczyk
Qui Nguyen
Mac Rogers
Crystal Skillman

A Short Film By Bryan Enk

The Epic Poetry Stylings of Brian Silliman

Burlesque by the lovely and libido-inspiring Mme. Renee Rosebud

And (as the kids say) MORE!

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Tuesday, March 9th at 8 p.m.!

At the Brick Theater on 575 Metropolitan Ave. in Williamsburg, Brooklyn

(Between Lorimer Street and Union Ave.)
G L trains to Lorimer Street/Metropolitan Ave.

Doors at 7:30 p.m., Show at 8 p.m., Party thereafter

$20, All You Can Drink

www.nosediveproductions.com

Tuesday, March 9th at the Brick: Nosedive's 10th Anniversary Gala

Nosedive Productions Presents

Nosedive's 10th Anniversary Gala

A Fundraising Variety Show & Party a Decade in the Making

Yes. It has indeed happened. Nosedive Productions, that theatre company that has brought you plays featuring nervous boys, superhero ladies, monkey puppets, and brain-eatings, has turned 10 years old this year.

We're just as shocked as you are.

In honor of Nosedive turning 10, the company is kicking off its 10th anniversary season with a fundraising gala event (which is a fancy way of saying "variety show and party where you drink all you want") at the Brick Theater on Tuesday, March 9.

Tickets are $20 at the door. Proceeds go towards financing our 10th anniversary flagship production, The Little One, a new vampire saga by James Comtois and directed by Pete Boisvert.

In addition to drinking heavily and waxing nostalgic, Nosedive has rounded up some of its crazy-talented pals over the years to offer an evening of socializing and variety acts, including:

New Short Works By
Jeff Lewonczyk
Qui Nguyen
Mac Rogers
Crystal Skillman

A Short Film By Bryan Enk

The Epic Poetry Stylings of Brian Silliman

Burlesque by the lovely and libido-inspiring Mme. Renee Rosebud

And (as the kids say) MORE!

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Tuesday, March 9th at 8 p.m.!

At the Brick Theater on 575 Metropolitan Ave. in Williamsburg, Brooklyn

(Between Lorimer Street and Union Ave.)
G L trains to Lorimer Street/Metropolitan Ave.

Doors at 7:30 p.m., Show at 8 p.m., Party thereafter

$20, All You Can Drink

www.nosediveproductions.com

Things You Can Do To Feel Happy (A Truly Shameless Post)

Feeling down? Of course you are. Look at yourself and the world around you. There's not a lot out there to be chipper about.

Well, that's not entirely true. As shitty as this world and your life has become, there are two things you can do to turn that suicidal depression into one big gooey sack of happy.

The first thing you can do is donate to my theatre company, Nosedive Productions. Our next show is an anthology of horror plays. Those blood effects and simulated viscera don't pay for themselves, you know. Plus, as I've been nattering about at length on this site, the next full-length play will be about vampires. That's not exactly a subject you can convey effectively on the cheap, either.

So donate. It doesn't even have to be that much. Seriously, we here at Nosedive Central are cheap (and frankly, easy) dates. And we will love you.

The second thing you can do is go to the Saturday Night Saloon at the Battle Ranch this Saturday, see the pilot episodes of six rocktacular serial plays (including one by Yours Truly) for free, and drink very cheaply.

So. To recap. Donate to Nosedive. Go to the Saloon. Forget about the shit sandwich that is existence for a short period of time.

Seriously, I should get a medal or some shit.

Curing depression without prescribing pills,

James "Dishonorary Doctor Feelgood" Comtois

Burlesque Benefit: "Mad as a Wet Hen"

Kate Marks, who did an absolutely splendid job directing my piece, "Joseph and Cotton," for Flux Theatre Ensemble's Poetic Larceny Series, brought this to my attention: "Mad as a Wet Hen," a burlesque benefit on May 2nd at the Triad (158 West 72nd Street) to raise funds for the KNF Co. and their production of Bird House, an upcoming multimedia theatre project by Ms. Marks.

Featuring cabaret star Teresa Fischer, hoop dancer Firefly, alt-rocker Pauline Pisano, burlesque sweetheart Reckless Abandon, Louie Pearlman and his Ukulele, Billy the Id and Cherry Pitz from the Hotsy Totsy Burlesque, magician Gene Silvers, clown John Leo, and (as the kids say) much, much more!

Miss Roxy Contin will emcee.

And from now until April 18th only, you can get discounted tickets ($15) by using the code 'getstheworm' here.

As wet as a hen,

James "Surprisingly Unperturbed" Comtois

Still Buzzing

I just wanted to give a huge thank you to the performers in last night's Nosedive Disturbing Burlesque — Bastard Keith, Nasty Canasta, Madame Rosebud, Marlo Marquise and Sapphire Jones — and everyone who came out to attend. This was one of our most successful fundraisers in years, and it was a whole hell of a lot of fun to boot. Ladies, you brought the sexy and creepy. Keith, you brought the laughs and inappropriate hugs.

Seriously, guys, this was great. Thank you so much. I'm still buzzing. We may do something like this again in the not-too-distant future.

The whole evening was set up to raise money for our upcoming play, Infectious Opportunity, a show about how one can use HIV/AIDS to one's advantage. Yes, we're going there. We are Nosedive, after all. It was really only a matter of time.

Anyway, we'll be making an announcement soon about the future of this latest Nosedive caper very, very soon.

Using Nudity to Finance an AIDS Comedy,

James "Despicable Human Being" Comtois

Gearing Up: Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque This Wednesday!

After seeing a good number of plays last week and the week before, I’ve had to take this week off to get ready for our fundraising show that goes up tomorrow, Nosedive’s Disturbing Burlesque, which I’m really looking forward to. Having seen these performers before (and being what the kids would call a fan), this is sure to be a really kick-ass night of offbeat burlesque and Nosedive goodness.

Anyfuckingway, hope to see you tomorrow!

The best stage cougar in town,

James "Raaawr" Comtois

* * *

Nosedive Productions presents

Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque

Lovely Ladies. Bastard Host. Disturbing Company.

Featuring Unwholesome Performances by

Dirty Diva — Madame Rosebud — Nasty Canasta — Sapphire Jones

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Doors open at 9 pm — Show at 10 pm

$20 Admission

Under St Marks Theatre

94 St. Marks Place, between 1st Ave. & Avenue A

Proceeds from this fundraiser go toward staging Nosedive's spring play, Infectious Opportunity.

Samurais and Burlesque Dancers

I went to go see Soul Samurai for the second time on Friday and man, am I glad I did that. So much freakin' fun. Seriously, folks, if you haven't seen it for your first time yet, shame on you. Shame!

Well, gang, to raise money for our upcoming show, Infectious Opportunity, Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque is just around the corner and is looking to be a real fun evening of icky hotness. Featuring the lovely talents of Dirty Diva, Madame Rosebud, Nasty Canasta and Sapphire Jones and hosted by the incorrigible Bastard Keith.

The whole thing starts at 10 p.m. on Wednesday night at UNDER St. Mark's Theatre. Admission is $20. See you there.

Equal Opportunity Plugger,

James "Um...Buttplug?" Comtois

Nosedive Productions presents

Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque

Lovely Ladies. Bastard Host. Disturbing Company.

Featuring Unwholesome Performances by

Dirty Diva - Madame Rosebud - Nasty Canasta - Sapphire Jones

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Doors open at 9 pm - Show at 10 pm

$20 Admission

Under St Marks Theatre

94 St. Marks Place, between 1st Ave. & Avenue A

Wednesday, March 11: Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque

Well, gang. As the old saying goes, "There's no such thing as a free erection in this town" (yes, it’s a saying, I'm sure of it, don't look at me like that). At 10 p.m. on Wednesday, March 11 at UNDER St. Mark’s Theatre, we here at Nosedive Central are working under that paradigm with our latest spectacular fundraising show, Nosedive’s Disturbing Burlesque.

Sexy with a capital "creepy," Nosedive’s latest fundraising caper offers an evening of lovely ladies performing unnerving burlesque acts guaranteed to make your pulse quicken and skin crawl. Hosted by that loveable rapscallion, Bastard Keith.

Proceeds from the show go towards funding Nosedive Productions' spring show, Infectious Opportunity.

And if for some insane reason you are unable to attend (seriously? You’re gonna miss out on a night of drinking and disturbing nudity?), you can always mitigate your guilt by donating to Nosedive Productions here.

Disturbing the performers,

James "Handsy-Pants" Comtois

Nosedive Productions presents

Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque

Lovely Ladies. Bastard Host. Disturbing Company.

Featuring Unwholesome Performances by

Dirty Diva — Madame Rosebud — Nasty Canasta — Sapphire Jones

Hosted by Bastard Keith

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Doors open at 9 pm — Show at 10 pm

$20 Admission

Under St Marks Theatre

94 St. Marks Place, between 1st Ave. & Avenue A

Preparing and Adapting

We here at Nosedive Central are finalizing our plans for staging Infectious Opportunity this spring and will most likely be sending out all the information on the show sometime in March. In the meantime, we're gearing up for our Soul Samurai night on Thursday, February 19. Tickets for that are actually going very, very fast, so anyone in the New York area that wants to see Vampire Cowboys' latest (which writer Qui Nguyen himself has said it's the best thing he's ever written) and drink heavily with the Cowboys and Nosedivians, send me an email very, very soon.

It's very interesting that Laura brings this up now that we here at Nosedive Central are working on a new business model. And by "new business model," I mean, "a business model at all."

Since we first formed the company back in late 1999, early 2000, we've produced in a "spend first, ask questions later," way. We put stuff on our credit cards, get loans, and sign contracts for spaces and worry later about how we're going to complete payments on the space. For many of us, getting the work staged was too important to worry about pesky little details about cash flow or revenue.

We really can't produce that way anymore.

It's not just because our entire economic infrastructure is collapsing, or that being in debt in your 30s isn't quite as hip or adventurous as it is when you're in your early-20s. Those are huge factors, of course, but mainly, we can't stage shows that way anymore simply because with many producers' job security (mine included) now being a joke, we simply can't start each production at "zero," pour what little money we don't have into the show, then pray that box office returns will at least get us paid partially back. (Little inside baseball fun-fact: that plan sure didn't work on Colorful World.)

Plus, with the rents of theatres going up substantially, the cost of staging a show, even on the cheap, has gone up considerably since we started (our first play, Monkeys, cost a grand total of $2,400 to produce).

I'm very glad to see everyone in Nosedive is on the same page about this and are setting things in place to make sure the company can stay afloat.

I know, I know, a theatre company now talking about how to be fiscally responsible. Will wonders never cease? (Though, to be fair, it took us nine freakin' years to start.) Will these new money saving and fundraising techniques work? Who knows? At least we'll be moving in the right direction.

Pinching pennies,

James "Cheap Bastard" Comtois

Two Fundraising Events

Hey, gang. I just wanted to give everyone the head's up about two events happening in the next two months.

The first one is a joint venture between Nosedive and the baddest mofos in the New York theatre scene, Vampire Cowboys. Vampire Cowboys is set to open their latest show, Soul Samurai, quite soon. And, through their kindness, they're allowing Nosedive Productions to once again ride their coattails with a cross-marketing deal.

Nosedive is selling $25 tickets for the Thursday, February 19th performance of Soul Samurai. But the $25 isn't just for the show; it's also for admission to an after-party at the HERE Arts Center, hosted by Nosedive. We'll be serving drinks, of course. It'll be fun. The show starts at 8:30 p.m., the after-party will be, well, right after curtain call.

Proceeds from ticket sales go to both Vampire Cowboys and Nosedive Productions.

Anyone who's interested should drop me a line at jamescomtois@gmail.com.

In addition, on Wednesday, March 11, at UNDER St. Marks at 10 p.m., we'll be hosting our own fundraising show, Nosedive's Disturbing Burlesque, featuring some of the loveliest ladies in the New York burlesque scene performing some unnerving routines. Hey, you may get an erection, but you may not feel good about yourself afterwards.

The lovable Bastard Keith will host.

So, seriously. Samurai fighters and burlesque dancers. Can you really go wrong with either?

Wanting the dancers to fight with swords,

James "Luck-Pusher" Comtois

This Saturday: Party Like It's 1929

This Saturday, December 13, Stone Soup Theatre Arts hosts its annual winter gala, Party Like It's 1929.

Yoga Sutra Studios
501 5th Ave, at 42nd Street

8 p.m. -VIP Cocktail Hour - $30
9 p.m. - General Admission - $10

This event is precisely the kind of unique and unexpected production Stone Soup Theatre Arts has been known for in its seven years as a producing Off-Off Broadway company. All proceeds will benefit Stone Soup's April repertory production with two full-length productions, invited guest directors, and our renowned Salon series. Get your stars read in our foyer, foxtrot to live music in the main studio and grab a raffle for high end items from our Cigarette Girls, all for a brand new season of high quality, high-minded theatre.

With Party Like it's 1929, Stone Soup gives the high-hat to a money meltdown with its trademark originality, riskiness and humor. Just because we're hitting on all sixes in a crisis doesn't mean we shouldn't go out and jolly up.

Getting on the trolly,

James "Butter and Egg Man" Comtois

Tonight: Subjective Theatre Company’s Scorpio’s Night Out Fundraiser

Subjective Theatre Company’s

Scorpio’s Night Out Fundraiser

Jimmy’s No. 43, Back room (43 East 7th Street btwn 2nd and 3rd Ave)
Wednesday, November 19th @ 7:30 p.m. until closing
$15 gets you in the party and a 2 for 1 special on your first round

Featuring music byTravis Sean Miller and Ila Cantor,
Burlesque featuring Tattoo Girl, Boylesque, Bad Actor Olympics, Kisses and raffle tickets

This fundraiser is in support of upcoming productions Beauty by Julia Holleman & Grace by Jesse Alick.

These shows will run in rep at 78th Street Theatre Lab, as always for FREE.

Click here to make a donation to STC.

Our Fundraising Strategy

Yup, cartoonist Jeremy Yuenger has been recording our production meetings...

Liking the idea already,

James "Bail, Schmail" Comtois